because you are worth it....because you are worthless....

Journal copyright of Agata Cardoso

Benzo queen,my all american dream ////

Journal copyright of Agata Cardoso

Menstrating on a chess board..........

'Thirty eight methods of catharsis' exhibition flyer 2006.


Photograph copyright of Agata Cardoso

Your lover who has just walked out the door/////

Both photographs copyright of Agata Cardoso

Listen to me,because I am sick of being fucked over and spat on.

                                                Paul was missing from the psyche ward.



Journal and photographic images (top image) are copyright of Agata Cardoso.
Image of noose copyright of Paul Car (bottom), journal page copyright of Agata Cardoso

I love you..............

Journal copyright of Agata Cardoso

Knife manic on bail after beheading a woman

beheaded and emotionally bleeding to death, and you can't staunch the blood too long before it seeps through your hands.

Journal copyright of Agata Cardoso

Prozac v's Citalopram

Journal copyright of Agata Cardoso

Susan Sontag's corps taken by Annie Leibovitz.

Journal copyright of Agata Cardoso.

Dear departed, thank you for letting me die.

Journal copyright of Agata Cardoso

Sometimes you are nothing but meat........

Journal copyright of Agata Cardoso

It feels like another 'Twin-peakS' moment....

I am holding my catholic prayer mantilla.I am giving it away,holding it out,I cannot bear to mourn any longer.


Photography (top) copyright of Agata Cardoso

Journal copyright of Agata Cardoso

My medical crap...........

Journal copyright of Agata Cardoso.

The situation is as happy as it is sad.......

Journal image copyright of Agata Cardoso.

you really hurt me,you hurt me even more by not understanding...

                                                           Broken hearted in Stockholm.

Journal copyright of Agata Cardoso.

Performing art piece being worked on, maybe its literally how art education makes me feel...sick

Early experimentation of my first serious performance piece...title yet unknown.That day I performed alone for 3 hours, continuous eating and pulling out the ribbon. A neurotic act. Repetition.

I was in pain for three days.


Idea for performance and photographic image copyright of Agata Cardoso.

57 States of hysteria..............................

An installation consisting of 57 photographed stills from the band 'Hole's' promotional video 'Violet'.
Courtney love 'acts' out different states of hysteria.
Also gestural communication for states of anguish.


Artwork including the photographic images are copyright of Agata Cardoso.

Amusement, elation, relief.....

Journal images Copyright of Agata Cardoso

He slid his knife, across my breast,he gently pressed me across his chest.

Journal copyright of Agata Cardoso

I love you Claire.................... in blue.

I took this photograph in the Steatham flat,I was manic,photographing on 35mm colour film,developing and hand printing every fucking photograph.Meters of wall were filled with photographs of our lives together,it was a happy time,I had just recovered from being sick, midway through this period of happiness something just changed.These photographs,either all hand printed or Polaroids, fill at least six sketchbooks.They are in a trunk,I don't look at them often,but I just need to know that they are there.


Photograph copyright of Agata Cardoso.

I was menstrating when I took a bath, I caught a blood clot,it looked like an embryo.

This photograph was taken by Edward in the basement flat I shared with Claire, in Streatham. Everything was in blood.The vagina blood prints,I asked Claire to collect her tampons in a jar so I could photograph them,or make a sculptural piece out of them.Like myself, she is not easily repulsed.2005.


Photograph Copyright of Agata Cardoso

The one who saved me, later contaminated me..............

Journal entry copyright of Agata Cardoso.

The metronome and the starched stiff ribbon...chatting with my DNA.

There is over 70 meters of starched saliva ribbon in a bag.The ribbon I place into my mouth, I then begin to chew and eat this ribbon,I then repeatedly pull out the ribbon,this neurotic act is repeated.Once, as long as 3 hours.

The metronome ticks,it ticks, until I am catatonic, in psychiatric terms ' in a dissociative state.'

cold, sharp, shock.


Photographs copyright of Agata Cardoso

He got up from his chair,and casually shot 20 people dead......and other tales of sadness

Don't let the crows peck at your raw flesh.

Self portrait October 2011.


Photography copyright of Agata Cardoso

No more playing with Monroe...........

Top image sourced online,of Kennedy and Jackie O.
Bottom journal entry copyright of Agata Cardoso

never trust a junkie...

For miss G it was all a 'fix' and I was not 'fixed'. Bring your own poison, just don't let that fucking black tar molasses crap anywhere near me.


Journal Copyright of Agata Cardoso

Your everyday Psycho....that does not look like me

Journal copyright of Agata Cardoso

I just want you to hold me in your arms and tell me that everything is going to be ok.......but you can't do that, no one can

Photograph and Journal Copyright of Agata Cardoso

La Austriene, dressed as a whore.......or so Marat thought

"courage! I have shown it for years; think you I shall lose it at the moment when my sufferings are to end?"



Photograph and journal copyright of Agata Cardoso

“

Me and Claire in a ancient pagan burial cave, Avebury.

Photograph copyright of Agata Cardoso